Islam, Agamaku
Blogger Skin
Kisah-kisah yang Menggugah
Menjadi Muslimah
Catatan Harian Menjadi Muslimah
 

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Ramalan, Zodiak, Shio ...? NO way !!

Ilustrasi :
Sore itu, Mita lagi kesal berat. Bete. Wajahnya cemberut, jelek banget pokoknya. Diambilnya sebuah majalah remaja edisi terbaru, kemudian mulai dibuka-bukanya. Matanya terhenti pada halaman 'Zodiak Kamu'. Dalam hatinya, Mita berkata, "Zodiak? Gak boleh percaya sama yang beginian. Syirik namanya." Tapi matanya tak bergerak ke halaman berikutnya. "Hmmm, baca aja gpp kok, asalkan ga percaya."

Taurus : Tersenyumlah. Kamu akan mendapatkan kejutan manis yang tak terduga.
Secara otomatis, Mita tersenyum. Manis banget senyumnya. Dilanjutnya membaca zodiak.

Tapi hati-hati dengan ulah seorang teman. Tindakan cerobohnya dapat menghancurkan kerjaan yang sudah kamu kerjakan dengan hati-hati. Keahlianmu memang sangat diandalkan.

"Mita," ungkap Mita dengan bangga. "Kerjaan mana yang gak Mita selesaikan dengan baik? Bagaimana ya kalau Mita gak ada? Kacau balau tuh kayaknya semuanya."
Kira-kira, apakah Mita termasuk orang yang ga percaya pada ramalan? Ada dua kesalahannya:

1. Senyuman manis Mita itu merupakan ungkapan sikap percaya pada ramalan yang sudah dibacanya.
2. Ungkapan membanggakan diri (ujub diri) juga menunjukkan rasa percaya pada ramalan. Bahkan, dalam kalimatnya itu, ia telah menduakan Allah. Dia lupa, bahwa dengan ijin dan kasih sayang Allah sajalah sehingga ia mampu menyelesaikan pekerjaannya itu. Harusnya ia mengucapkan syukur pada Allah karena diberikan kemudahan dan kesempatan juga keahlian dalam menyelesaikan pekerjaannya.

Lebih jauh tentang ramal-meramal. Kenapa hal itu tak boleh?

Rasulullah saw yang kita sayangi itu adalah utusan Allah. Beliau adalah manusia yang spesial, maksum (terlepas dari dosa karena Allah menjaganya). Beliau banyak mengetahui hal-hal ghoib. Ingat tentang peristiwa Isra' Mi'raj. Tapi, tau engga, Rasulullah saw aja tidak mengetahui secara rinci apa yang akan terjadi di masa datang. Beliau tidak tau, apakah sebentar lagi akan ada kejutan manis tak terduga, misalnya. Mengenai pengetahuannya tentang beberapa hal ghoib sesuai dengan Firman Allah dalam surah Al-Jinn : 26-27,

"Dia mengetahui yang ghoib, maka Dia tidak menjelaskan kepada seorangpun tentang yang ghoib itu kecuali kepada Rasul yang diridhoi-Nya, maka sesungguhnya Dia mengadakan penjagaan di hadapan dan di belakangnya."

Jelaslah, dari ayat di atas, dapat diketahui bahwa tak ada seorangpun di dunia ini yang mengetahui apa yang akan terjadi di masa depan, itu semua rahasia Allah. Salah satu bukti ketidaktahuan Rasululullah adalah saat ia tidak mengetahui apakah di dapurnya ada makanan yang dapat dimakan atau tidak. Bila ditanyakannya pada 'Aisyah ra (istri beliau) dan jawabannya tidak ada, maka Rasulullah hari itu akan berpuasa.

Kalau Rasulullah saja tidak mengetahuinya, masa sih seorang peramal bisa tau. Aneh ga sih? Usut punya usut, ternyata para peramal/ dukun/ orang pintar/ itu mendapatkan info dari para jin dan syetan.

Gini nih dalilnya, dulu sewaktu Rasulullah saw masih hidup, para sahabat pernah bertanya kepada Rasulullah saw tentang tukang ramal, beliau bersabda, "mereka tidak ada apa-apanya." Para sahabat bertanya, "wahai Rasulullah, mereka kadang-kadang bisa menceritakan sesuatu yang benar kepada kami." Maka Rasulullah saw bersabda, "itu adalah kalimat yang benar, yang dicuri oleh jin, kemudian dibisikkan ke telinga para walinya (peramal/ dukun). Maka para dukun tersebut mencampurkan kalimat yang benar tersebut dengan seribu kedustaan (kata-kata manis)." (HR. Bukhari, Muslim, dan Ahmad)

Dari hadist di atas, peramal/ dukun merupakan kaki tangannya jin dan syetan, para walinya. Setan itu memang sukanya menggoda manusia sehingga terjerumus ke jalan yang salah, menjadi teman mereka di neraka nantinya. Rasulullah adalah utusan Allah yang membawa manusia ke jalan yang lurus. Kontradiksi kan? Makanya, bila mengakui perkataan para peramal/ dukun berarti sama saja memilih jalannya setan dan mendustakan Rasulullah sebagai utusan Allah. Hal ini diperkuat oleh hadist:

"Barangsiapa yang mendatangi dukun atau paranormal lalu membenarkan apa yang dia katakan, maka sungguh dia telah kufur terhadap apa yang dibawa oleh Muhammad saw." (HR. Abu Daud)

Nah, mudah aja kan, pilih jalan ke surga atau ke neraka? Agar dapat menjaga hati untuk ga tergelincir pada percaya ramalan, tak perlulah zodiak (shio dan ramalan lainnya) dibaca. Cara lainnya, pilihlah majalah Islam yang tidak memuat ramal-ramalan seperti itu. Menyehatkan dan melegakan kan? ^_^

Wallahu'allam...

Labels:

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Tips on Raising a Fearless Child

Every child has a varying amount of fear; some are normal fears of childhood while others are not. Some amount of fear in a child is understandable and healthy, like fearing the fire for it burns. Child Psychology experts say that a child in his early years may show signs of fear when hearing a sudden noise or something falling. In general, girls show more fear than boys, and the intensity of the fear may vary according to the intensity of the child's imagination; the more imaginative the child is, the more fearful he may be. However, the child may develop fear of harmless things, like darkness, water, stairs and gathering with other people.

These fears can result from a number of factors;
  • The mother scaring the child with ideas of ghosts, shadows or strange creatures.
  • Relating stories or fairy tales that have evil and imaginative characters in them.
  • Raising the child in isolation and keeping him secluded - away from people.
  • Children are imitators of their parents and pick up phobia from their parents, therefore presenting a good example before the children plays a major role in training them.

In order to avoid such fears, the parents should:
  1. Always train the child to believe in Allah, worship Him and turn to Him in all situations of fear and anxiety.
  2. Do not scare him with imaginative characters, ghosts and animals. Always remember the Hadeeth of Allah's Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam): "The strong believer is better and is more loved by Allah than the weak believer." [Saheeh Muslim (2664)]
  3. Give the child responsibilities and allow him to work it out himself. Also, allow him to meet and mix with other people and get to know them.
  4. Instill courage and bravery in the child by relating to him true stories of our pious-predecessors.
  5. As psychologists recommend, give the child an opportunity to get to know the thing that he is frightened of, for example, if he is afraid of water, allow him to play with little water in a bowl, if the child fears the dark; the parent may allow him to play with the light-switch, turning it off and on...
Fear of Dark: Generally children shows fear when the parents separate their bed. Parents need to recognize the fact that the room looks totally different to the child when the lights are out. So, you may...
  • (Use a night light, but experiment with its placement to be sure that it does not create frightening shadows.
  • After the light has been turned out. Stay in the room for a few minutes and talk about how different things look. A curtain blowing in the breeze looks very different at night than it does during the daytime.
  • Leave the door to the child's room slightly open and tell him that you will not be far away.
  • If the child awakens in the middle of the night, he should not be invited into your bed else he may develop a habit that is difficult to break!! Instead, comfort him in his own room and tell him that you are proud of him for being grown up enough to sleep in a room by himself.
(From As-Sunnah Bi-Monthly Newsletter)

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Haid

Siklus haid yang normal terdiri dari dua fase:

1. Fase Folikuler
Pada fase ini terjadi peningkatan jumlah hormon esterogen yang dihasilkan oleh folikel atau sel telur yang sedang berkembang dalam ovarium. Peninggian kadar estrogen ini akan menyebabkan terjadinya perubahan pada lapisan endometrium dalam rahim, dimana sel-selnya akan semakin membesar dan semakin banyak, untuk mempersiapkan diri sekiranya nanti terjadi ovulasi.

2. Fase Luteal
Fasi ini terjadi setelah ovulasi, yaitu keluarnya ovum yang sudah matang dari ovarium, yang menyebabkan peningkatan kadar hormon progesteron. Pada tahap awal dari fase ini, progesteron yang dihasilkan itu akan menjaga kestabilan atau keseimbangan efek dari hormin estrogen. Akibatnya pertumbuhan dari sel-sel endometrium akan lebih baik, bersiap atau menunggu kemungkinan dibuahinya sel teluar yang dilepaskan dari ovarium tadi, oleh sperma dari seorang laki-laki.

Kalau sekiranya tidak terjadi pembuahan, artinya tidak terjadi pertemuan antara ovum dan sperma, kadar estrogen dan progesteron akan menurun pula. Jika kadar kedua hormon ini menurun dan korpus luteum sudah sampai pula pada akhir kehidupannya, maka haid akan terjadi. Sel telur yang tidak dibuahi ini, beserta dengan sel-sel lapisan endometrium yang adinya tumbuh subur, menjadi terlepas disertai dengan pengeluaran darah yang berasal dari pecahnya pembuluh darah pada lapisan endometrium tersebut. Proses inilah yang merupakan siklus haid dari seorang wanita, biasanya berlangsung selama 28 hari.

Siklus haid yang sangat tipikal, berlangsung sebagai berikut:

Siklus tipikal ini berlangsung selama 28 hari, namun dapa berbeda pada setiap wanita. Siklus dianggap normal jika berlangsung selama 25-32 hari. Hari pertama terjadinya pengeluaran darah haid dihitung sebagai hari pertama siklus haid pada seorang wanita.

Hari 1-8
Kadar hormon progesteron menurun yang menyebabkan lepasnya dinding rahim lapisan dalam. Mulainya peristiwa haid. Pada waktu ini hormon dari kelenjar pituitari menerima isyarat dari hipotalamus, untuk merangsang pematangan sel teluar dalam indung telur, menyababkan meningkatnya kadar hormon estrogen.

Hari 5-11
Perdarahan haid biasanya akan berhenti pada hari ke-5 dan diikuti dengan pengeluaran lendir dari leher rahim dan vagina.

Pada hari ke 9-13, kadar hormon estrogen sampai pada batas tertinggi, lendir dari leher rahim menjadi bening dan encer. Ini merupakan awal dari hari-hari subur seorang wanita. Pada hari ke-13 kadar hormon pitutari yang merangsang pematangan dan penglepasan sel telur juga berada pada batas tertinggi serta suhu tubuh meningkat sekitar 0,5 derajat Celsius. Ovulasi atau lepasnya ovum dari ovarium menuju rahim terjadi pada hari ke-14.

Hari 15-23
Setelah ovulasi, jika sel telur tidak dibuahi oleh sperma, kadar estrogen menurun drastis. Folikel asal sel telur di ovarium berubah menjadi kelenjar yang disebut sebagai Corpus Luteum yang menghasilkan hormon progesteron.

Pada hari ke-15,16 keluar lendir kental dan pekat dari leher rahim yang merupakan lendir terakhir pada siklus haid ini.

Hari 24-28

Aktifitas Corpus Luteum mulai menurun dengan menyusutnya kelenjar tersebut, sehingga kadar hormon progesteron pun menurun. Ada sebagian kaum wanita mengalami gejala pra-haid, berupa pembesaran payudara dan perubahan perilaku seperti depresi dan mudah marah. Terkadang didiringi perut yang terasa kembung. Awal haid biasanya ditandai dengan turunnya suhu tubuh sampai 0,5 derajat Celsius.

Keluahan yang paling sering dijumpai adalah nyeri haid yang dikenal sebagai Dismenorea yang bisa datang pada permulaan atau sebelum haid.

Hukum Haid dalam Islam

Rasulullah saw bersabda:
"Bahwasannya (warna) darah haid itu merah kehitam-hitaman, sebagai umumnya di kalangan wanita, jika terjadi demikian hentikan shalat. Tetapi jika warnanya lain, maka berwudhulah dan shalatlah engakau karena darah yang demikian itu hukumnya sama dengan penyakit." (HR. Abu Daud, Nasaly, Ibnu Hibban, dan Daru Quthni, Hakim dengan catatan atas syara Muslim)

Dari hadits yang datang dari Ummi Athiyah ra dinyatakan sebagai berikut:
"Kami tidak menganggap haid, terhadap darah yang berwarna kuning atau keruh setelah suci." (HR Abu Daud dan Bukhari yang tidak menyebutkan setelah suci)

Yang diharamkan bagi yang sedang haid:

1. Shalat, fardhu maupun sunat

"Apabila datang haid, hendaklah engkau tinggalkan shalat." [HR. Bukhari]

2. Puasa, fardhu maupun sunat. Wajib bagi wanita yang tidak berpuasa saat Ramadhan untuk menggantinya (meng-qodho) sebanyak yang ditinggalkan.

"Kami diperintahkan meng-qodho puasa dan tidak diperintahkan meng-qodho shalat." [HR. Bukhari]

3. Membaca Al-Quran

Dari Ibnu Umar ra. bahwasannya Rasulullah saw bersabda:
"Tidak boleh bagi yang sedang junub dan juga bagi yang sedang haid membaca Al-Quran. [HR. Tirmizi, Abu Daud, dan Ibnu Majah]

4. Berada di mesjid (i'tikaf)

5. Haram atas suami mentalaq isterinya disaat isteri sedang haid.

Rasulullah saw bersabda:
"Suruhlah dia merujuk isterinya kembali, kemudian hendaklah ia tahan dulu sampai perempuan itu suci, kemudian ia haid lagi, kemudian ia suci lagi, sesudah itu kalau ia (Ibnu Umar) menghendaki teruskan perkawinan itu, dan itulah yang baik, dan jika menghendaki (talaq) boleh ditalaq sebelum dicampurinya." [HR Bukhari dan Muslim]

6. Haram atas suami istri bersetubuh disaat isteri sengan haid.

"Mereka bertanya kepadamu (hai Muhammad) tentang darah haid, katakanlah bahwa haid itu suatu penyakit oleh karena itu jauhilah perempuan-perempuan itu (isterimu) ketika mereka sedang haid dan jangan kamu dekati mereka sehingga mereka suci lebih dulu.." (QS. Al-Baqarah: 222)

Cara bersuci setelah haid.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Tips for a Better Husband and Wife Relationship

Although many Muslims may right now be in failing marriages and on a fast track to divorce and its terrible consequences, there are many ways to put their marriage back on the right track if the husband and wife are sincere in their desire to reconcile. The following principles can be used by Muslims whose marriages are already in trouble or by Muslims who would like to avoid trouble in their marriage.

Examples of Negative Relationship of Husband & Wife

Many Muslim husbands and wives treat each other like adversaries rather than partners. The husband feels that he is the boss, and whatever he says goes. The wife feels that she must squeeze everything she can out of her husband. Some wives never show their husband that they are satisfied with anything he does or buys for them in order to trick him into doing and buying more. They make him feel like a failure if he does not give them the lifestyle that their friends and families enjoy. Some husbands speak very harshly to their wives, humiliate them, and even physically abuse them. Their wives have no voice or opinion in the family.

Marriage In The Eyes of Allah


It is very sad that this relationship which Allah (SWT) has established for the good has been made a source of contention, deception, trickery, tyranny, humiliation, and abuse. This is not the way marriage is supposed to be.

Allah (SWT) described marriage very differently in the Holy Quran: '. . . He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts) . . . " (Holy Quran 30:21, Yusuf Ali Translation).


Do not be a Tyrant

Regardless of whether or not Islam has made the husband the head of the household, Muslims are not supposed to be dictators and tyrants. We are taught to treat our wives well. The Prophet Muhammad (SAWS) was reported to have said: 'The most perfect Muslim in the matter of faith is one who has excellent behavior; and the best among you are those who behave best towards their wives" (From Mishkat al-Masabih, No. 0278(R) Transmitted by Tirmidhi).

Be Partners in the Decision Making Process.

Follow the principle of 'Shura," and make decisions as a family. There will be much more harmony in the family when decisions are not imposed and everyone feels that they had some part in making them.

Never be Emotionally

Never be emotionally, mentally, or physically abusive to your spouse. The Prophet (SAWS) never mistreated his wives. He is reported to have said: 'How could they beat their women in daytime as slaves and then sleep with them in the night?"

Be Careful of Your Words

Be very careful what you say when you are upset. Sometimes you will say things that you would never say when you were not angry. If you are angry, wait until you calm down before continuing the conversation.


Show Affection

Show affection for your mate. Be kind, gentle, and loving.

Be Your Spouse's Friend

Show interest in your mate's life. Too often, we live in the same house but know nothing about each other's lives. It would be great if the husband and wife could work together for the same cause or on the same project. They could perhaps establish a husband/wife prison ministry, take care of orphans in their home, or lead an Islamic weekend class.

Show Appreciation

Show appreciation for what your spouse does for the family. Never make your husband feel that he is not doing good enough for the family or that you are not satisfied with his work or his efforts, unless, of course, he is truly lazy and not even trying to provide for the family. The Prophet (SAWS) was reported to have said: 'On the Day of Judgment, God will not look upon the woman who has been ungrateful to her husband." (where is this hadith found) Show your wife that you appreciate her. If she takes care of the house and the children, don't take it for granted. It is hard work, and no one likes to feel unappreciated.

Work Together in the House

The Prophet (SAWS) is known to have helped his wives in the house. And if the Prophet (SAWS) was not above doing housework, modern Muslim husbands shouldn't feel that they are.

Communication is Important

Communication, Communication, Communication! This is the big word in counseling. And it should be. Husbands and wives need to talk to each other. It is better to deal with problems early and honestly than to let them pile up until an explosion occurs.

Forget Past Problems

Don't bring up past problems once they have been solved.

Live Simply

Don't be jealous of those who seem to be living a more luxurious life than your family. The 'rizq" is from Allah (SWT). In order to develop the quality of contentment, look at those people who have less than you, not those who have more. Thank Allah (SWT) for the many blessings in your life.

Give Your Spouse Time Alone

If your mate doesn't want to be with you all the time, it doesn't mean he or she doesn't love you. People need to be alone for various reasons. Sometimes they want to read, to think about their problems, or just to relax. Don't make them feel that they are committing a sin.

Admit Your Mistakes

When you make a mistake, admit it. When your mate makes a mistake, excuse him or her easily. If possible, never go to sleep angry with each other.


Physical Relationship is Important

Be available to your mate sexually, and don't let your sexual relationship be characterized by selfishness. The Prophet (SAWS) was reported to have said: 'It is not appropriate that you fall upon your wives like a beast but you must send a message of love beforehand."

Have Meals Together

Try to eat together as a family when possible. Show the cook and the dishwasher, whether it is the husband or the wife, appreciation for his or her efforts. The Prophet (SAWS) did not complain about food that was put before him.

Be Mindful of Your discussion Topics

Never discuss with others things about your marriage that your spouse wouldn't like you to discuss, unless there is an Islamic reason to do so. Some husbands and wives, believe it or not, complain to others about their mate's physical appearance. This is a recipe for disaster. Information about your intimate relations should be kept between you and your spouse.

Many of us treat our spouses in ways that we would never treat others. With others, we try to be polite, kind, and patient. With our spouses, we often do not show these courtesies. Of course, we are usually with our spouses at our worst times --- when we are tired and frustrated after a hard day. After a bad day at the office, husbands usually come home angry and on edge. The wife has probably also had a hard day with the children and the housework. Wives and husbands should discuss this potential time bomb so that if they are short-tempered with each other during these times, they will understand the reasons rather than automatically thinking that their spouse no longer loves them.

Good marriages require patience, kindness, humility, sacrifice, empathy, love, understanding, forgiveness, and hard work. Following these principles should help any marriage to improve. The essence of them all can be summed up in one sentence: Always treat your spouse the way you would like to be treated. If you follow this rule, your marriage will have a much greater chance for success. If you discard this rule, failure is just around the corner.